Drivin' In A Circle Way Too Fast

LITERATURE OUT LOUD

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Whistling

That melodic tune must mean it’s time for another episode of philosophy by Markus Tenacious Noggin.

I used to have a ferocious temper, and argued day and night.  That might be why my mamma named me Markus Tenacious Noggin.

MT Noggin at your service.

Whistling

Just fer yer information, I’m that old guy driving the speed limit in the slow lane.  Don’t give me dirty looks when the people in the fast lane ain’t goin’ fast enough fer ya, and you can’t use the slow lane as the “extra fast let’s pass everyone else lane”.

Remember this is happenin’ in a place where most of the people have swore to obey the law of the land, and I think that includes speed limits.  Except when they have an emergency, and you and me are in the way.

I just wanted to take this opportunity to say how much I have enjoyed having you speedsters on the road.  You won’t be around forever and I wanted to say this now before you kill yourself and several others in your rush to get to where ever it is you are rushing off to.

It’s gonna be tough not havin’ you around to tailgate me in the slow lane, when there are other lanes on the freeway.  I suppose someone else will come along and take your place, but you can at least be glad I don’t jam on my brakes anymore just to give you a thrill.

It might be that cell phone you got glued to your jaw.  When I see a vehicle going extra fast or extra slow, it’s usually someone jaw-boning about something very, very important on their cell phone.  So important it can’t wait till they git there, and not important enough to pull off the road to talk about.

They say talkin’ on your cell phone reduces your drivin’ proficiency down to about the level of a drunk.  That’s what yu’re drivin’ like -- a drunkard.  Ya may not drink, but yu’re doin’ a pretty good imitation with yur weavin’ all over the road and yur slow and fast and tail-gatin’.

It has been entertainin’ to watch some of yur antics.  Like the guy in the fast car I could see coming way too fast in my mirror.  Since I was in the slow lane going the speed limit, he swerved around me like I was standin’ still, probably going about thirty or forty over the limit.

The bad news is the swervin’ didn’t stop even when he was way down the road.  He did a little fishtail, and then wham! right into the jersey barrier.

I started to slow up since his car was now airborne, and not too far in front of me.  To my amazement, the car continued in a perfect arc, just like you see on the movies, and as it flipped three hundred and sixty degrees around in a circle, it landed back right side up and even in the right lane.

The guy who was driving next to him in the other lane must have been grateful for the precision movement.  I’m glad I didn’t have to see one car land on top of another.

Well, I think one or two of the tires blew out from the impact of the landin’, and as this modern McQueen had a few seconds to contemplate his amazing luck, he finally decided to pull off on the side of the road to check out what had happened.

Don’t try this at home.  The luck of the stupid drivin’ way too fast has probably been used up by this one maneuver for the next year or two.

If you still have to drive stupid, we would all appreciate it if you could move away for a couple ‘a years.

Just remember you heard it here first from Markus Tenacious Noggin, MT Noggin at you service, just MT most of the time.

Mares eat oats

And does eat oats

And little lambs eat ivy

A kid’ll eat ivy too

Wouldn’t you?

Whistling

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