daneallred

Character Central

John Wayne

 

 

Leo

Character Central, home of the formerly famous, this is Leo speakin’. 

Dane

Could I speak to Marion Morrison please?

Leo

Who?

Dane

The Duke?

Leo

No dukes, here, buddy.  Oh, you mean John Wayne!

Dane

Yes!  Could I speak to John Wayne, please?

Leo

That’s gonna cost ya.

Dane

Could we put this on the Bill Gates card, please?

Leo

Oh, is this dat Abundance guy again?

Dane

Yes, this is Dane Allred.

Leo

No, that guy who is always talkin’ about all the good things he sees in life?

Dane

Yes, that’s me.  Dane Allred

Leo

No, that ain’t right.

Dane

I do talk about 1001 things I’m thankful for.

Leo

That’s the guy.  Mr. 1001 Thanks.

Dane

Yes, that’s me.  Dane Allred.

Leo

No, that still ain’t right.  But I’ll go get Marion.

(off-phone)

Johnny – Dukey baby.  It’s Bill Gates on the phone for you.

Dane

No, it’s not Bill Gates.  We just use the card I found…

John Wayne

This is the Duke speaking…

Dane

John Wayne!!  It is such a pleasure to speak to you.  I’ve really enjoyed every movie I’ve ever seen you in.

John Wayne

Well, I’ll tell you pilgrim, there are some things a man just can’t run away from.

Dane

You are a classic American icon.

John Wayne

I`m an American actor. I work with my clothes on. I have to. Riding a horse can be pretty tough on your legs and elsewheres.

Dane

Yes, that could be painful.

John Wayne

When you come slam bang up against trouble, it never looks half as bad if you face up to it.

Dane

You do have a great attitude. Thanks for sharing it with our listeners.

John Wayne

Well, I’ve always said, when the road looks rough ahead, remember the Man Upstairs and the word Hope. Hang onto both and tough it out.

Dane

That’s exactly the kind of thing I was hoping you would say.

John Wayne

I won’t be wronged, I won’t be insulted, and I won’t be laid a hand on. I don’t do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.

Dane

Another good piece of advice.

John Wayne

Get off your horse and drink your milk.

Dane

I’m sorry?...

John Wayne

Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.

Dane

Stupid?

John Wayne

Talk low, talk slow and don't say too much.

Dane

Am I talking too fast?

John Wayne

You can`t whine and bellyache because somebody else got a good break and you didn`t.

Dane

I’m sorry if you think I’m whining…

John Wayne

A man's got to do what a man's got to do.

Dane

Um, yes.  Mr. Wayne, is there a way you would like to be remembered?

John Wayne

I would like to be remembered, well . . . the Mexicans have a phrase, "Feo fuerte y formal". Which means he was ugly, strong and had dignity.

Dane

Ugly? Really?

John Wayne

I have tried to live my life so that my family would love me and my friends respect me. The others can do whatever the hell they please.

Dane

Again, good advice.  Any advice for the future?

John Wayne

Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.

Dane

Very good.  I hope we have learned something today.  Any advice about women from the manliest man of American film?

John Wayne

I've had three wives, six children and six grandchildren and I still don't understand women.

Dane

Yes, Abraham Lincoln said a woman was the only thing he was afraid of that he knew wouldn’t hurt him.

John Wayne

Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway.

Dane

I guess there is no answer for the fear.

John Wayne

All battles are fought by scared men who’d rather be someplace else.

Dane

I can’t believe you only received one Oscar for Best Actor.

John Wayne

You can’t eat awards -- nor, more to the point, drink ‘em.

Dane

Hard living and hard drinking.

John Wayne

I never trust a man that doesn`t drink.

Dane

John Wayne, thank you so much for being with us today.

John Wayne

A man ought to do what he thinks is right.

Dane

That’s right, and again, thank you for speaking with us from Character Central.